Everyone should read this http://t.co/WUxidPV
Everyone should read this http://t.co/WUxidPV
Well, I’m in trouble. 3 weeks into the new year I’ve slipped up. I’m disappointed with myself about it. Please don’t shake your head or cluck your tongue. My great dreams and buoyant spirit have been sucked away. On New Year’s Eve I told God that I’d trust Him with EVERYTHING this year. Well I haven’t, and here I am aggravated about being aggravated.
I’ve been trusting and waiting on my body to be healed for ten years. Along the way, I’ve sought out modern medicine and it hasn’t healed me. Every treatment has had unwanted, uncomfortable side effects and no lasting result. For years, I’d go to the doctor and be asked the same question. “How are you functioning? You shouldn’t be able to do everything that you are doing.” But I was, I did, and I was grateful to God for it. But, over the past year it’s been worse than ever and recently I’ve been more tired than ever. My energy is sapped and recently I’ve felt like my prayers haven’t made it better. So, just the other day, I was driving along giving God the third degree about all of this. It sounded like this:
“Why haven’t you healed me?”
“Do you really want me to do all you’re asking with this sickness going on?”
“What have I done?”
“What haven’t I done?”
“When will this be over?”
I got home without an answer. To add insult to injury, that same night I was disappointed to find that the procedure suggested by my physician has more side effects than my husband or I are willing to risk. More misery, more aggravation, less contentment, less ease of this troubled (and tired) mind. Then, I was reminded of a phone call I received nearly five years ago. Someone I love and trust called and said something very simple and profound to me about my healing. Over the years, that conversation has been my reference and reminder that this thing is going to happen. Then tonight, came these scriptures:
8 Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. 9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. 10 Say not thou, What is the cause that the former days were better than these? for thou dost not enquire wisely concerning this. – Ecc 7:8-10 (KJV)
It made me think about this whole thing again. It reminded me that I’m confident, and always have been, that eventually I’ll be healed. I’ve seen God do it for others and I’m sure that soon I’ll be able to share how God has healed me. I guess I share all of this tonight to encourage someone who is in similar circumstances. It’s never too late for God to make a difference. He will do what was promised in His time. Webster’s Dictionary defines contentment as ease of mind.
So, I’m reciting this:
“I’m going to be patient. I’m going to be content. I’m going to be healed.”
And all the people gathered themselves together as one man into the street that was before the water gate; and they spake unto Ezra the scribe to bring the book of the law of Moses, which the Lord had commanded to Israel. – Neh 8:1 (KJV)
In Nehemiah 8, the people gathered to hear and be taught as Ezra the priest read the law. I realized, as I read about the people in Ezra, that the Holy Spirit was not with them. From Adam to Jesus the people lived without The Comforter (I can’t imagine what that was like). The gravity of what Ezra shared from God made many weep because they were without comfort.
Sometimes the law of God can be harsh. The path we are required to take, the intricacies of our journey to eternity inevitably contain some rough patches. Only God knows what He has ultimately willed for our lives. In my life, God has been gracious enough to give me knowledge of what is about to occur on many occasions. Often, He only provided an inkling of where I was headed. In those inklings, I’ve gotten the knowledge that the direction I was headed in wasn’t going to feel good. Those times brought sorrow. In them, I faced my humanity as it appears against the wisdom and greatness of God. Like the people, I wept but God sent instruction to do otherwise.
Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength. – Neh 8:10 (KJV)
I’m so grateful for the atonement of Jesus and that he was mindful enough of me to leave The Comforter. Even when the news we receive is enough to drive us to tears God says keep moving forward. No matter how dark the day, the joy of the Lord is our strength. There’s nothing stronger.
I heard a song earlier today that reminded me of my childhood. My parents weren’t churchgoers but Mom always found a way to get me to church. The song I heard reminded me of the church that I attended as a child with a family friend. When I was young, every time I heard the song I’d cry. The soloist would belt out her part and when the choir started singing the chorus I’d find myself in tears. When I was listening to it today I realized that it’s a song about dying and going to be with the Lord. When I heard it today, I wasn’t moved to tears though. Instead I started to think about recent events in my life and in the world at large. Things seem so desperate and people seem so ready to get outta here – one way or another.
It seems that even many Christians have become obsessed with the return of Jesus. So obsessed that they don’t seem to be enjoying life. It’s sad really. The very ones that are supposed to show the love and joy that comes with salvation are sulking. I don’t want to be that type of Christian. Don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly anticipating Jesus’ return. The signs that my grandmother used to tell me about when I was a young child; well they are upon us. The things that the scripture says about the last day are definitely in our face. But for me that doesn’t mean that I’m not to enjoy what God has given me to do on this Earth. I want to see Jesus and my loved ones in Heaven. But, while I’m here on Earth, I want Jesus to see me being a joyous representative of His kingdom to come.
11-16 Then I saw Heaven open wide—and oh! a white horse and its Rider. The Rider, named Faithful and True, judges and makes war in pure righteousness. His eyes are a blaze of fire, on his head many crowns. He has a Name inscribed that’s known only to himself. He is dressed in a robe soaked with blood, and he is addressed as “Word of God.” The armies of Heaven, mounted on white horses and dressed in dazzling white linen, follow him. A sharp sword comes out of his mouth so he can subdue the nations, then rule them with a rod of iron. He treads the winepress of the raging wrath of God, the Sovereign-Strong. On his robe and thigh is written, King of kings, Lord of lords. – Rev 19:11-16 (MSG)
We have a new puppy. He is my husband’s Christmas present to the kids. He is also my new baby. When we brought him home we were under the impression that he was a little older. Therefore, I specifically, was under the impression that he would be a little easier to housetrain. I was wrong and our dear pup is giving all of us a run for our money. As I sat today reflecting on the many activities of my canine charge a word came into my head – Tenacious.
Merriam-Webster defines tenacious as:
persistent in maintaining, adhering to, or seeking something valued or desired
Our house is full of activity and our little pup LOVES attention. So, the past three weeks have been spent trying to keep him from nipping, growling, jumping and biting at everything and everyone. His domain is our kitchen (because the floors in the rest of the house can’t stand up to the puddles he leaves behind). This means if he isn’t in his kennel then he is nipping at your feet, grabbing on your pants leg and using his mouth to untie your shoelaces. The only way to stop him is to give him what he wants or to corral him in his kennel. On top of it all, the kennel only works if he wants to be there. If not, his howling, crying, and whimpering can last a while. He is the definition of tenacious!
Thinking about him tonight made me think about the scriptures I’ve been meditating on today. This morning, I was reading about the life of David. David is one example that I use when looking at how imperfection doesn’t diminish greatness. He was certainly not a perfect man but he was a great leader. David went from tending his father’s sheep, to slaying a giant. He was a fugitive with unlikely alliances. His trust in God enabled him to outwit his dire enemy. In the end, he was a brave little boy who became a mighty king. Along the way he made mistakes that got him in trouble. His decisions sometimes cost lives. His circumstances often cost his peace of mind. Despite it all, he sought the most important thing and is well known for it. David was tenacious too; always making his way back to God.
So, I’ve decided to follow these examples of tenacity. In 2013 I’ll be applying that type of determination in my pursuit of God. I will be in God’s face getting his attention this year. I won’t let my mistakes hinder me. I will recognize that my imperfection doesn’t diminish my greatness!
My dear husband had the keys on my trusty laptop fixed for me. I wasn’t doing well posting from my cell, or tablet, or his I-pad. It’s interesting the things about people that don’t change with time. For me, one of those things is my penchant for writing with pen and paper. Also, there is my need to type and not tap on a touchscreen when writing most things. That’s the good news.
The bad news is that I’ve been gone so long I wonder if you’ll even bother to read. Your feedback has been incredible and encouraging since I launched this blog. I’ve been plagued by guilt about my irregularity. I felt pretty lame writing in my notebook and then never sharing because I couldn’t take the tap, tap, tapping on those silly touchscreen keyboards.
So, with all of that said Happy New Year! 2013 is upon us and I pray that God continues to show his strength in your life. I can’t say that I’ll put my pen and pad to rest this year. I don’t think that I ever will. But, I can say that I have so much to share since I’ve been absent and that I’m absolutely positive there will be more. Hopefully, you’ll join me on this journey of discovery in 2013.
O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together.
Happy New Year,
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